I know it’s Tuesday already, but hey, how was your weekend? What did you do?
Well, I’ll tell you what I DIDN’T do.
I didn’t change a diaper.
I didn’t worry about naps.
I didn’t play Elmo DVDs in the car.
I didn’t have to share my breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
I didn’t have an audience whilst peeing.
So yeah, that’s great, but I asked what you DID do?
I went to Chicago for another fun girls’ weekend with childhood friends Beth and Tara.
I spent a crapload of money at IKEA.
I wondered what the big-eared mouse at Topo Gigio was all about.
I strolled down Michigan Avenue.
I ate my free sample at Ghirardelli while waiting on my chocolate chip ice cream.
I laughed my ass off at The Second City and saw too much truth in the “always on your iPhone” skit.
I was always on my iPhone.
I got a lesson in Barcelona soccer at Niketown.
I got eyebrows at Barney’s.
I rode in a loop around the Loop in search of falafel.
Oh, that falafel was soooooooooo delicious wasn’t it?
Yeah, probably the best I’ve ever—wait a minute. Who are you? Who’s asking me these questions?
Um, it’s yourself.
Really? That’s kind of creepy. Also, why are you asking me about my weekend if you, I mean me, were there?
Hmmmm, I’m not sure. Why don’t we, I mean you, I mean me, grab another Diet Coke and continue our addiction with Words with Friends?
Sounds like a plan. You get the ice and I’ll get the iPhone?
Being mocked by Second City taught us nothing, did it?
No. No it did not.