Nov 042010
 

JENNIFER: Supper’s in a little bit. What do you want?
ELEANOR: Candy soup!

•••

HENRY: When I grow up I’m going to be a daddy.
ELEANOR: And when I grow up I’m going to be a mommy.
HENRY: And when I grow up I’m going to ride a pogo stick!

•••

Henry wakes up early, and his non-morning-person mother always tries to get him to go back to sleep.
He usually has a good response for me.

JENNIFER: Did you just yawn? Why don’t you go back to sleep?
HENRY: I didn’t yawn, Mom. My mouth is just waking up.

JENNIFER: It’s still early, sweetie. Why don’t you go back to sleep?
HENRY: I can’t, Mom. My dreams are all gone.

•••

at breakfast, eating waffles with syrup
HENRY: (holding up hands towards sister) I’m sticky! Clean off my hands!
ELEANOR: No, Henry! No! I’m not a mom!

•••

HENRY: I love my whole family! I love Bentley and Simon and my mommy and daddy and my sister!
ANDY & JENNIFER: Thanks, Henry, that’s really sweet.
HENRY: And sometimes? I even love MYSELF!

•••

Best thing each kid has said in their sleep lately:

HENRY: She’s on a ship.

ELEANOR: I’m ASLEEP!

•••

in preschool parking lot
HENRY: Look! There’s Mrs. J’s car!
JENNIFER: Yep. I parked our van next to it because I know you always like to look for it.
HENRY: I have good eyesight.
JENNIFER: Yes, you do.
HENRY: Like T. Rexes. And sharks.

•••

at Children’s Museum
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Are you from here?
HENRY: No. I’m from Indianapolis.

•••

Andy walks kids over to neighboring soccer fields.
HENRY: I want to be goalie.
Andy and kids play soccer for a while.
HENRY: Now I want to be not-goalie.
ANDY: Well, you could be a center. Or a forward, maybe?
HENRY: I want to be forward.
ELEANOR: And I want to be a backwards!

•••

JENNIFER: Henry, are you pooping?
HENRY: No, mom, I’m just waiting for Christmas.

•••

playing Mario Kart, Jennifer keeps driving off road in Rainbow Road race
JENNIFER: Mommy’s not very good at this race.
ELEANOR: Because you’re so old?

  4 Responses to “My Kids Say The Darnedest Things”

  1. Thank you for the pre-bedtime giggle.
    Hilarious.
    They are both so funny and brilliant – just like their mom & dad & whole family!

  2. please…. PLEASE keep these coming. i almost just fell out of my chair laughing.

  3. LOVE IT!

  4. They are universally hilarious!

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