I mention my beloved Brit-Brit in like every other post, so how could I not tell you about the Britney Spears concert? Even if it was two weeks ago. And even if I don’t really have any photos, because I can never remember to bring my point-and-shoot (because I grew up in the olden times when cameras weren’t allowed in concerts), and because my iPhone battery died *right before* Britney came on stage.
But I know you’d LOVE to see blurry cell phone pics of what I did before the concert, so your wish is my command.
The opening-opening act were two blonde chicks, Destinee & Paris. I’d never heard of them either, maybe they had the night off from the strip club? That was my signal to go enjoy a tasty adult beverage and flash my “It’s Britney, Bitch” bracelet.
All that beer made me have to go to the bathroom, where I attempted one of those teenage-Facebook-mirror-self-portrait-while-making-duckface photos. And where I failed, because I am thirty-seven years old.
The opening act was DJ Pauly D, that one dude from Jersey Shore, which I have never watched. I may love bad pop culture (see also: my attendance at a Britney Spears concert), but I DO have standards, people. Man, was his set stupid and way too long. He’s somewhere in those stage lights, probably imploring us to fistpump to Justin Bieber.
Finally, FINALLY, the smoke machines started up, the big-ass LCD screens parted, we heard “It’s Britney, Bitch” like a dozen times (which yes, okay, may have given me goosebumps a little)(SHUT UP) and Britney herself rolled out on stage. Can she dance like she used to? No. But was it a great time? Yep. I mean, there were ten hot shirtless dancer boys, tons of costume and set changes, a trapeze, lasers, ninjas, and the choreography from the Slave 4 U video. I dare you to not have fun watching all of that.
Hmmm…now that I’ve finally seen Britney in concert and had my uterus removed, whatever am I going to blog about? Good thing Snuggie weather is quickly approaching!